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Sunday, January 14, 2018
Saturday, January 13, 2018
A 'hedge maze' made from sheets of falling water would be awesome at a water park.
If you got lost or wanted to exit you could just walk out of it. On top would be a grid of water spouts that cast sheets of water down, and the maze layout could change daily, or hourly.
Friday, January 12, 2018
Anyone else just meow back at their cat?
Just ends up with us meowing loudly at eachother because I can't be bothered to get up
Thursday, January 11, 2018
"Pregnant woman glow" is just how your body looks when you haven't drunk alcohol in almost nine months
I am doing dry January and I am getting compliments on my skin and complexion. This thought popped into my head last night.
Gambling addiction hotlines would be so much more effective if every 10th caller was a winner.
What are the odds that would work though?
Wednesday, January 10, 2018
You know you've listened to an album too much when your brain plays the intro to the next song before it actually starts playing.
Maybe too much is dependent on how much you like the album ;)
Tuesday, January 9, 2018
Monday, January 8, 2018
Amazon.com should include the ebook for free with the purchase of the physical book.
If DVD purchases usually include the digital version, why not books.
It's silly for them not to.
Sunday, January 7, 2018
Love "triangles" are rarely triangles. They're more like Vs.
Unless all three people are romantically involved with each other, I suppose.
Saturday, January 6, 2018
To “lose your temper” is in reference to blacksmithing, where you get so heated that you stop being useful and break down
In metalworking, each piece has to be heat treated to achieve properties necessary for its use (one of these procedures is called tempering). A knife (hardened metal) and a spring (toughened metal) are made of steel, but with generally opposite characteristics.
If you heat either of these metals to be red-hot, you change the temper (or cause them to “lose their temper”). A spring could shatter catastrophically or a knife could bend and fail of it loses its temper, not unlike how excessive anger can cause people people to do the same.
Kids these days will never know the pure, bone-chilling fear of calling a girl you like at home only to have her dad pick up.
silence
heart palpitations
hang up
move schools
Friday, January 5, 2018
If our moon wasn't tidally locked to Earth humans would've seen it rotate throughout history and probably would've figured out that the Earth was spherical much sooner - changing our mythology and speeding up astronomical science from the earliest of ages.
I wonder how much further along science would be or where it would've ended up if there weren't centuries of debate on the "flatness" of the Earth.
The Oscars should be hosted not by a comedian, but by a movie character from that year.
Like if last year's Oscars were hosted by Deadpool, and this year's Oscars were hosted by Wonder Woman, or James Franco as Tommy Wiseau? Past Oscars could have been hosted by Maximus from Gladiator, Roxie Hart from Chicago, Gandalf from LOTR (or, heck, the entire fellowship), Daniel Craig's James Bond, and so forth.
Of course, there are some details to iron out. The actors would have to be willing to host, and the studios would have to be willing to allow a character that they own to be used (given that the Oscars would be a 3-4 hour commercial for their character and product, I'm sure they would be fine with that). Ideally, the host's script would be written with the aid of at least one screenwriter for the film that character was from.
Nonetheless, such an approach might capture the attention of audiences better than the current approach (since there is a prominent connection with a popular film), while nonetheless strengthening the mission of the Oscars in celebrating films.
Everyone swears; Adults swear when kids aren't around. Kids swear when adults aren't around.
Everyone swears, but it's segregated swearing.
Why are single person bathrooms gender labeled? Only one person is allowed, who cares what their gender is.
I'm talking about bathrooms with one toilet and a door that locks from the inside.
Thursday, January 4, 2018
Wednesday, January 3, 2018
An underrated perk of being an adult is you no longer outgrow your clothes.
Well... Unless you get fat.
It wouldn't be possible for Star Wars movies to have product placement, so instead they place Star Wars into products
I'm looking at you, BB-8 Tangerines
Being a fish must suck. Every single animal (air, land, or water) wants to eat you. Even fish that are bigger than you eat you. Literally your only purpose in existing is being food for everyone else.
Air - birds that dive down and eat fish
land- humans, bears, etc.
water- bigger fish.
Want to feel old? Wall-E came out 10 years ago. A bugs life came out 20 years ago.
I feel old. Where does the time go?
Telling someone "You do you" is basically the same as telling them to go fuck themselves.
"You do you, man"
Well I have been needing a number 3...
Tuesday, January 2, 2018
Anyone in charge of product placement who puts back pain relief products on the bottom shelf should be fired.
Went to the grocery store this morning for pain relief after pulling a muscle in my lower back and all of the creams & pills for back pain were on the very bottom shelf. Brilliant layout.
Monday, January 1, 2018
If you take a shit on January 1st 2018, you're literally shitting away something from 2017.
Also applies to January 2nd.
You know you've grown older when you don't give a fuck about new year anymore.
I wish everyone would be quiet, I need to sleep.
Flat earthers shouldn't be allowed to celebrate New Years
Since it recognizes another year of the earth circling the sun
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