The first rule of Fight Club prevents people from spoiling the plot.

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I've been to 5 schools, had 9 jobs, driven 4 cars, lived in 8 homes, lost 2 grandparents, had 4 cousins be born...and in all that time, the Simpsons' living situation has not changed.

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After the credits of a film that is "based on a true story" there should be a brief summary of the differences between the film and reality.

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Weaponized cannabis would be the most humane military tactic ever developed. You could carpet an entire city in green haze then just waltz in and arrest the helplessly giggling bad guys while leaving snacks for all the civilians.

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/r/GetMotivated is like holding an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting in a bar.

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I have to plug my phone into the charger so much that I basically have a land line again.

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My dog looks naked without his collar on.

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