Cars should have two horns - one that sounds angry and on that is friendly

Sometimes you just want to say thanks to another driver without making them think you are pissed, you know?

Why would anybody buy a bookmark for a dollar when they could use a dollar as a bookmark?

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A bachelor party would be a lot more suited after a divorce opposed to before a wedding

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Gambling addiction hotlines would do so much better if every fifth caller was a winner.

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Arguing that you don't care about the right to privacy because you have nothing to hide is no different than saying you don't care about free speech because you have nothing to say

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I'm so old that I remember when the humorless blue-haired women who want to ban everything they don't like were senior citizens--not college students.

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Checking the "remember my password" box on a website unchecks the "remember my password" box in my head.

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