There are few things in a man's life more satisfying than successfully piss-blasting a shit-stain off of the inside of a toilet bowl

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If a website keeps all of my incorrect password attempts, they probably have all of my passwords.

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If a ghost can open cupboards and break things, why not just take a pencil, find paper, write exactly why it's unhappy, and tape the message on the fridge.

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I'd pay good money to see TV show bonus episodes in which the actors swap scripts around and do their best impressions of each other's characters.

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In Big Bang Theory two scientists have to share an apartment to be able to afford it while a waiter can live next door alone

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Congratulations to drugs for consecutively winning the war on drugs

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The music at the beginning of porns is just so you can adjust your volume settings to avoid being heard

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