My facial hair is determined only by my laziness. I grow it because I'm too lazy to shave it, and I shave it because I'm too lazy to maintain it.

No text found

I get more motivated by the phrase "Fuck it" than any other motivational phrase

No text found

Shouldn't incognito mode look exactly like google chrome's default mode since its purpose is to hide what you're doing?

No text found

Phone companies removing headphone jacks and selling an adapter for headphones is the technological equivalent of women's pants not having pockets in order to sell more purses

No text found

When I die without having children, I will be the biggest failure in my billion year line of ancestors.

No text found

It's not pre-marital sex if you never intend to marry.

No text found

Picking my nose with a tissue is the same as having sex with a condom. I can't feel anything, and it just ruins the whole experience.

No text found