I'd like to see a slow motion video of earphones getting tangled in a pocket because I just don't believe it sometimes.

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If I were a ghost I'd barely haunt anyone. I'd spend my time in nature exploring jungles, caves, and oceans without the fear of dying.

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Being told "I hate you" doesn't hurt as bad as being told "I don't love you"

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If I got 1$ for every time I fake laugh at a customer's joke, I wouldn't even need a job

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It's cool how it feels different putting your head on the foot side of the bed even if it is technically a symmetrical bed that has either a top or bottom.

Edit: neither*

If Tinder would send you a message, everytime someone swipes you to the left, it would be really depressing

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If you saw a boat for $49,000 you'd probably go, "Welp, no boat." But tell people kids cost $233,000 to raise and they're like, "Let's have 4!"

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