If Satan is so terrible, why would he torture bad people in Hell? Shouldn't he welcome them with a tickertape parade and high-fives all around?

• Job well done!
• Good on you, kicking that dog off that cliff!
• Masterful murder, Manson!
• A ravishing rape! Stuck, that landing--if you know what I mean!
• Killed that bombing, Mo!
• And the award for best baby molestation goes to...!