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Friday, September 30, 2016
Movie characters kill hundreds of henchmen but think they are too good to kill the main bad guy.
This has always annoyed me in media. The "good guy" will murder hundreds of guards and thugs but then when it comes to the main "bad guy" suddenly it is immoral to kill him. Logically if you're going to mow down countless people (probably just trying to feed their families) you might as well take out the villain. Otherwise, you're saying the super evil guy's life is more valuable than his employees.
The fact that we have a universally recognized hand sign for "fuck you" and not one for "I'm sorry" should really tell us something.
When I cut someone off in traffic, I'd like to be able to do something more concrete than scrunch up my neck and flap my hand around apologetically
Thursday, September 29, 2016
In 12 years or so... If reddit is still a thing, the kid that fell into Harambe's enclosure might do an AMA
And it will be either hated or praised for the meme of 2016
I never appreciate how painless it is to swallow until I have strep.
I always took it for granted D:
Wednesday, September 28, 2016
Harry Potter is the ultimate example of someone that 'peaked in high school.'
What do you do in life after you defeat the worst evil of all time senior year?
Spotify should add a feature that keeps track of skips vs. plays to me know what songs I should delete from my music or playlists.
Often times I'll find myself skipping a song for several months in a row before finally deleting it. I get into the habit of skipping it that I don't even think about it any more and am too lazy to delete it. I think it'd be useful to have a skips vs. plays tracker, so I know what songs I should delete. If I haven't listened to a song in 3 months, but have skipped it 37 times, why the hell is it still in my library? It's wasting space, auto-delete it for me–probably won't even notice.
This also applies to iTunes or other music libraries; Spotify is just what I use most.
If a website stored my incorrect password attempts, they could get passwords to most of my accounts.
I can't always remember which password is associated to which login, so when it's incorrect, I just try a different password.
I posts on reddit because my real life friends don't reply as quickly as you guys
I understand not everybody check their phone every 5 minutes, but if it takes more than an hour to reply, then what is the fucking point of owning mobile devices?
And you fuckers are more witty and thoughtful. There I said it.
Subways are like the world's shittiest roller coasters.
No one ever looks like they're having fun on them.
Nintendo should release their old school classics for mobile phones.
Obviously there are emulators, but most of the population doesn't know how to use them. They would make a killing and I could play Zelda at work.
Google Maps should announce speed limits when navigating.
Ever been on a road (normally one you haven't been on before) and can't seem to find a speed limit sign? Edit: E
the people born the day before or after the cutoff point to start kindergarten were close to having a completely different life
they would have started going to school a year earlier or later.
Tuesday, September 27, 2016
Battlefield 1 should honor the Christmas Truce of World War I by disabling all weapons on Christmas day.
Or EA can just get DDoS'd again
Every time I hear the 20th Century Fox fanfare, I'm slightly diappointed if I'm not about to watch Star Wars.
Edit: Disappointed in my spelling as well.
Monday, September 26, 2016
Normally in Scooby-Doo Shaggy runs side-by-side with Scooby, Great Danes run at 48 kph. Technically, Shaggy is the fastest man alive.
Well shit, Usian Bolt got fucked by shaggy and his dog.
Little kids think adults have the most freedom but adults think little kids have the most freedom
by freedom I mean the rules you have to follow
Historically, when a new land is discovered and colonized, people eventually revolt and win their independence from their country of origin. When we go to Mars, it is inevitable that people born there will feel no love for Earth and will start a revolution to claim the planet as their own.
I am no expert but I always think that if ever colonize Mars, the generations will eventually not recognize any authority from Earth and will demand their independence and eventually Martian-humans will consider Earth-humans a different class of humans.
Think Spain and Mexico, England and the U.S., etc.
When you take a cigarette out of a pack, the pack becomes a cigarette lighter !
Would be an awesome trick for a comedy magician to perform.
Since the simpsons first aired I've gone from Barts age to Homers age
As above, hair and weightwise also
When celebrities do AMAs, they usually use a throwaway account. Instead of giving them gold for answers you like, consider gilding the user who asked the question.
The question askers are the unsung heroes of /r/ama, and they're more likely to actually benefit from Reddit Gold.
Sunday, September 25, 2016
Jesus' statement that man cannot live on bread alone is solid nutritional advice
Bread only contains carbohydrates; you also need protein and fat!
If ghosts are real, i'd mostly be embarassed about how much I've masturbated in front of them
Embarrassment over fear for sure
Saturday, September 24, 2016
When youtubers die their children will have hours upon hours of voice/video recording to remember them by.
Its insane to think that someone could watching their parent's videos after the parent's death and hear them tell stories they have never heard before.
Friday, September 23, 2016
When I was a kid, I imagined a TV channel that only reported positive news of the world. I'm now 32, and want that more than ever.
There's so much crap going on, it's often times hard to remember that the majority of people in the world, are nice decent ones. That for every horrible thing that happens, many more great things happen that we take for granted. The way news works these days, is to report shocking and hate-inducing news the most - proven to be shared and engaged with the most. And that's how they make money.
I really wish my male pattern baldness would start with my armpits and shoulders.
My family genetics really got its priorities backward on that one.
I feel like the unfunny guy who doesn't realize it when I post comments I think are pure gold that stay at +1.
Edit: This is now my top voted post.
Netflix needs a "This item will be removed in X days" so I can binge watch shows in the right order.
I'm using the UK Netflix on a SmartTV; I want to know how long Dexter is going to stick around so I can decide if it's worth me starting or not.
I can Google it but I want something actually on Netflix to give me a timeline. Not suddenly tell me "Oh yeah, you've got a week to watch 6+ seasons of whatever".
Thursday, September 22, 2016
Think how fortunate you are that your ancestors survived disease, war and feral beasts just so you could scroll on Reddit
Gets pretty deep when you imagine further back than a family tree can go....
No matter how I feel, the sound and smell of a crackling fire calms my soul.
Edit: There are many comments about unplanned or out of control fires. Some are obviously snarky or funny, which is fine, but for anyone who is serious I did mean a fire that is in a pit or a fireplace. Obviously, a house fire would not be calming.
...and yes, I'm riding the coat tails of the guy who had the post about rain that hit the front page earlier today.
When I procrastinate, current me really expects a lot out of future me.
Conversely, current me really hates past me for leaving all this shit to get done.
Edit: I meant to post this weeks ago.
T.V. remotes need a "half volume" button for when the dialogue of a movie is too quiet but the music is too loud.
Then when the dialogue comes back from the music you press it again and it goes back to the normal volume you had it at.
People in the future will retire to play video games instead of golf.
I'm sure some people do this already!
Wednesday, September 21, 2016
It's easier to understand someone who's waaaay smarter than you than someone who is just trying to sound smart
I love listening to people rant on a subject they know and I don't. But when people know a few phrases that make them feel like they're passing for a smart person, even though there's almost no meaning behind what they're saying and you have to try and translate it down from the nonsense. It's just decorated poop spilling out of their mouth.
All cellphone cameras, laptop cameras, and other webcams should come with a sliding door that has to be physically opened and closed by the user.
For cellphones, this may make more sense as a cellphone case feature.
Tuesday, September 20, 2016
"In case of contact with eyes" warning labels will probably be hardest to read when I most need them
Of course I always read and memorize every warning label ahead of time... probably...
I wish I could hear my native language through the ears of a nonspeaker
Then I could compare my language more properly to others that I hear and don't understand.
Instead of asking for "Gender" or "Sex" on forms and such, why not just change the category to a chromosomal option, e.g. "XX"/"XY", so we can all be done with this already?
Title says it all
Edit: Thanks for some of the links and info people! Only been an hour and I already have some interesting things to read up on! 👍
Monday, September 19, 2016
I've never had to change the lightbulb in a microwave.
They always seem to die and get replaced before getting to that point.
Sunday, September 18, 2016
In a way, after Darth Vader cut off Luke's hand, he followed it up with "I fucked your mom."
That typo in the first post would have driven me insane. Fixed.
"Where are you" is probably the least used phrase in sign language.
EDIT: Wow, more than 130 upvotes, thank you everyone! (BTW this is my first post to ShowerThoughts).
When flying vehicles become feasible, there's no way the public should get access. Instead, it should be for trained emergency services (Ambulances, fire trucks, police) to ensure the fastest/most efficient possible response time. We already crash too much, no need to add flying.
EDIT: I should clarify: I'm talking about decades from now, when tech had evolved to the point where is if perfectly doable an feasible for flying cars to be just as common as regular cars are today. Not helicopters, they are expensive and rare (when compared to cars). What's the police car/helicopter ratio for an average station? I'm talking about when we've reached the point where you won't need helicopters at all, because the the cars will be flying anyway.
There should be a section on everyone's profile that shows how much karma they've given
then we know whose generous vs greedy
Saturday, September 17, 2016
YouTube should have an audio-only mode for listening to music on data-capped connections.
I just turn the video resolution as low as possible, but I would think that most of the data transfer still goes to the video rather than the audio.
One day, my grandkids will think I'm weird for watching so many superhero movies in the same way I think my grandpa is weird for watching so many westerns.
EDIT: Since a lot of people are asking, let me clarify: It's not exactly that I think he's weird, I just sort of find it to be a very "old person" thing to do, which I can't fully understand because I'm not his age. And in the same vein, one day, kids will think the same of watching superhero movies. Don't know if that changes things, but I guess this is just an odd thought to articulate.
You can't tell anything about a person from their star sign, but you can tell a lot about someone who believes in them
*edit - just to make sure people don't think this is a dig at them.
I've noticed among friends and colleagues that those who believe star signs, horoscopes tend to be more open, positive, less cynical, (dare I say a gender split as well) and it tends to be an indicator of other beliefs, even taste of music, literature etc.
Loner. Live alone. No family or real friends.. If I die while out and about, my dogs will probably starve at home.
Sorry for being so morbid, but this crossed my mind in the shower today (literally) and has me really freaking out. I suffer from pretty severe anxiety as well as a litany of other health problems. I live alone, semi isolated area, have no friends (just acquaintances i speak to every few months) or family.. My dogs are my best friends and just the thought of this happening is killing me. Just another thing to aggravate my anxiety. I can’t be the first person to think of this, just can’t believe its taken me this long before it crossed my mind.
If I could convince the spiders around my house to spin their webs about two feet higher, the spiders and I would all be much happier.
I would stop walking through them at eye level, and they wouldn't have to keep rebuilding.
Friday, September 16, 2016
I don't watch porn for the plot, but I do notice plot holes
Edit: I knew I should have said "inconsistencies"
Videos of people driving and snapchatting should be enough evidence to suspend or revoke licenses.
How is it not frowned upon to upload videos of yourself distracted with a smartphone while driving? Worse yet, when people clearly have their phone in-hand instead of using a car mount.
As a man, I want to compliment random people, but there's almost no way to do that without it being weird or as if I'm hitting on the person.
I just want to say positive things out loud sometimes, but I never do because it'll probably just create an awkward situation.
Thursday, September 15, 2016
Wednesday, September 14, 2016
Hands down the stupidest thing I have ever seen on reddit has to be these people saying the terms female/male is dehumanizing
How exactly is calling someone a male or female offensive.
Tuesday, September 13, 2016
What if Earth is like one of those uncontacted tribes in South America, like the whole Galaxy knows we're here but they've agreed not to contact us until we figure it out for ourselves.
Like say ufo's are real but it's just like when those tribes see planes flying by, they freak out and run around telling the whole tribe, they probably have wild stories about what they are and where they come from too.
Extraterrestrials see us like we see those tribes.
Why is suicide selfish, but expecting someone to go on with their unwanted life so nobody has to deal with the "loss" isn't?
All credit goes to this post in r/depression To me, it felt like it needed to be shared as a shower thought.
There should be a word for getting nostalgic about a video game, installing it, playing it for 10 minutes and getting bored because you've already finished it a hundred times and then deleting in.
Similar to the japanese slang term tsundoku for buying lots of books but not reading them, there should be a word for the above because it's a recurring cycle for me every other week. I currently refer to it as the Mass Effect 1 syndrome.
A 49 year old women who had the condition dwarfism was killed recently, in the South of England, when her specially adapted parachute failed to open. She landed on a parked car in a cul-de-sac. It's very tragic but can you imagine the insurance claim from the car owner? Would they be believed?
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Monday, September 12, 2016
The "unfollow" option on Facebook was the best thing to happen to that site.
I don't like to see my extended families' grandma style memes.
Sunday, September 11, 2016
If I had the power to go back in time once, I'd probably save that power like my rare potions in video games and eventually finish the game without using it.
For clarification, you can only go back in time, say, 20 minutes. I'd skip all the embarrassing things that have happened to me thinking there is something more important, only to realise when i'm 70 that I really fucked up when I was "X" years old and should have redid that moment.
If I can re-watch my life as a movie, it will probably be incredibly cringeworthy and frustrating.
Just imagine watching yourself doing the following things:
- the first time you kissed/had sex
- wasting hours doing nothing or something completely useless
- your first job interview
- asking your parents for their hard-earn money to buy useless shit
Saturday, September 10, 2016
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